When This Guy and I started seriously getting to know each other, I lent him my past diary to fast-track the process. I wanted to make sure he was not under the impression that I was a typical church-going choir-singing conservative girl who walked around with a halo. NOT! I wanted him to know early that I did not have it all together, I had screwed up here and there, had made poor choices and bad decisions, could be selfish and immature, among others. Can you accept that?
He risked being transparent and vulnerable too. He laid down his cards. Life had dealt him a mix of good and really bad ones. I was relieved to discover that this was one authentic person.
Now we could close the books of our past and concern ourselves with the present to see if we could have a future together. I had a growing sense that this was it. He felt like home. This was one relationship I felt I could enter into without having one eye on the exit.
Towards the second month since The Proposal, I was sent by my office to conduct fieldwork in various towns of Laguna for at least a week. This is a good time to be apart, test myself and mull things over. He saw me off at the BLTB bus terminal with a package of letters, cards and a compilation of music on audiocassette. He said I was to read each one on the day and time of day indicated on the envelope, with accompanying music to boot. I had enough reading to do for the whole week of separation. Then he'd visit me in Los Banos where I'd be staying at my aunt's house.
My fieldwork was exhausting. I traveled alone by public transport to different towns in rainy weather everyday. But his letters cheered me up. I could not wait till the next installment but managed to resist peeking.
You can tell he loved to write.
Finally, the day of his visit came. I was waiting outside at my aunt's little sari-sari store by the side of the road waiting for his arrival. Finally, at around 8pm, I saw him approaching. It turned out that he had gotten off at the wrong Crossing--the one in Calamba--where he went asking around for someone with my aunt's name. Realizing this was the wrong town, he took another ride to the next town of Los Banos. Poor guy! He got rained on. The rose stem he brought for me got rained on too. I tell you, I was so tempted to give him my Yes! at that instant.
But I would wait till the next day. I had a better plan…
To be continued…