My two younger boys have the habit of sneaking into my bedroom early in the morning or late at night or whenever. They sometimes catch me in the morning sitting on the armchair by the window and having my Bible devotions.
Last Friday morning, at around 6:00 am, I began to drag myself out of bed into the chair. It is always a struggle for me to take those six or seven wobbly steps from the bed to the chair. But I have to do this to force myself to wake up. Otherwise, if I just sit up in bed, I would be back to sleep in no time.
Before I could even start opening my Bible or praying in between yawns, it might take me another 15 minutes or longer to be fully awake. Sometimes I just sit and stare at whatever. Sometimes my mind reviews past events or wanders into the future. Sometimes I snooze. That Friday, I was thinking of the past week and some of the amazing but seemingly unrelated things that had happened to me that week. As I was trying to make sense of those things, in wonderment I blurted out, "Wow!"
As I turned my head towards the door that was left slightly open, I realized that Markus was peeping through the opening. He pushed it open and joined me on the chair.
Wrapped in a blankie and squeezing himself beside me, he said, "Mom, I thought you were doing something useful."
I chuckled. "And what would that be?" I asked.
"Like praying?" he answered. "But you were just saying, 'Wow!'"
Yeah, I might have looked odd to Markus. It was as if I was talking to myself and not to Jesus. Well, I was.
"I was thinking of some good things that happened as I was about to pray," I told him. I am not a very disciplined person who can jump right into prayer before dawn. I need to get into the spirit. It takes effort for me to focus. And honestly, I don't always succeed with the time I have before preparing for work. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Note to self--Keep plodding on...
Because Markus was already nicely curled up beside me, I decided to engage him in an interesting conversation, the contents of which will be in the next blog entry. Then I reached out for my Bible on the table beside me. That was his cue to keep quiet as he leaned on my shoulders. After reading, I prayed for Markus, the family and whatever else entered my mind--the useful thing Markus had expected.