Saturday, July 09, 2005

The nut that drove me nuts

This is a story about a stupid toilet seat.

When we moved to our own townhouse two years ago, I felt very repulsed by the knowledge that others have sat on our toilet for years and years. I cleaned it very well with disinfectant stuff, but some old stains on the toilet seat wouldn’t go away. I had always planned to get a new seat but only got around to doing so a week ago. Since Gino was looking to earn some money for the summer, I delegated the installation to him as part of the deal.

Gino successfully removed the right hinge of the old seat but got stuck with the left. The thick plastic nut that secured the metal rod was so encrusted, it wouldn’t budge. Rust must have accumulated inside and around it for more than three decades. I guess it was the original seat installed when the townhouse was constructed.

I checked the left hinge myself and vainly tried to loosen the connecting rod and nut with lots of lube oil then used a pair of pliers, then a flat nose, a utility knife, a wrench. Nothing worked.

Because of the bowl’s position, it was very difficult to work on its left side. It was too close to the wall. I usually found myself cheek-to-cheek with the bowl whenever I had to peek under it. It was becoming a pain in the you-know-where.

For days, I worked on the nut and the rod that secured the seat. I became almost obsessive. I worked on it late at night, early in the morning, and times in between. The despicable nut was driving me nuts!

It had become a challenge. I can do this. I will not give up. This thing will give before I do. My hands hurt from the pressure of using the pliers everyday. It was the only thing I could hold down there. After many unsuccessful attempts, I began to entertain changing the toilet bowl itself to get rid of the stubborn seat.

A bright idea dawned on me when I saw Gino drilling his leather belt one night. The nut was plastic, therefore, it could be drilled. Yes! I was sure a series of holes would weaken it enough, and then it could be pried open or torn apart.

Gino got the idea. He began to work on it the next day. However, with drill in hand, body contorted, and powdery rust falling beneath the seat, it was hard for him to stay in that position for a long time. He had to work in increments till the following day.

Finally, Gino called me at work one afternoon. He had successfully pulled that thing out. We were ecstatic. Congratulations! Celebrate! And let me add, Answered prayer! It sounds ridiculous, but I did send several distress signals to heaven in desperation. God pleaase help….

I was so relieved when the hinge was finally loosened. Gone was the constipated feeling of frustration. This toilet now has a nice, padded seat. Great comfort for you-know-when.


Anonymous said...

si Bob di ba nakisali?

Anonymous said...

just the idea of it gives me eecky feeling.. how much more having a hard time removing the crusty sit... argg... EA

Anonymous said...

the hard-work described in that blog was an understatement. my face was an inch away from the toilet boil the whole time I was drilling a hole into the nut, and it smelled like concentrated piss.

Anonymous said...

Gino, let this be a warning to you. :) You will be drinking-age soon. You probably haven't seen anybody yet who's so drunk and hugging the bowl while throwing up. Eeeeeww! eeew! Just keep this picture in your head before you go drinking with friends. :)

Anonymous said...

thanx for the tip on the drinking thing, but who are you? My mom likes you...hahaha. but honestly i've seen that whole drunken-holding-toilet-bowl-puking before...haha not pretty, but also not a deterrent. :D

lerryblossoms said...

hey gino, come home drunk and i'll wash your face in the bowl myself..hahaha. you'll be sober in no time.---mom

Anonymous said...

Hi Gino, your Mom likes me? Pls tell her I like her too. She can write very well. I enjoy reading her blog. I am still new at this blogging thing. Once, after I had finished posting at my blog, I clicked on "Next Blog" and it brought me to your Mom's "Bucket of Cheers". I have bookmarked it ever since. So be good now, all you little boys! Like your Mom, I'll be watching you too! :) :)


Anonymous said...

Gino, I forgot to ask - so how much did your Mom pay you? Plumbers don't come cheap, you know. I had to call one once and he charged me 80 bucks an hour. He also charged me 30 minutes travel time from his shop. So, even before he set foot in my house, He already billed me 40 bucks. Now, there's a trade (maybe, rackket?) you may want to get into! But as you have already found, not too many people would touch that kind of stuff. That's why the few who do can charge so much.