Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Survival Tips in a Houseful of Boys

A friend once asked me how I manage with four sons. She said she has only two and already she is dying. So I quickly sent her the following list before she decides to quit breathing:

1. Clean when you’ve finally had it – remote control gone missing (grrr), spilt milk in the fridge, bloodstains on the carpet (OK, intervene before this happens).

2. Cook nice meals if you plan to eat. Otherwise let them scrounge for anything edible in the fridge or cupboard. This is the surest way to encourage them to cook (and read expiry dates!).

3. Forget the iron. Pressed clothes are passé.

4. Forget the laundry if you have other clothes to wear (or retrieve retro outfit from the antique chest).

5. Dust when you can scribble your name on wooden furniture or the TV set.

6. Windex when you can you see more spots on your face in the mirror.

7. Vacuum if guests are coming. The closet and basement are good places to hide the mess in an instant.

8. Scream only when there’s fire, or right before the boys strangle each other.

9. Hide the Nintendo controllers when you want the boys to do their homework or any house chore faster.

10. Keep the light low for room ambience. If the room is really messy, switch it off.

11. Get indoor plants that do not die.

12. De-stress with the Magic Mic or Karaoke and sing oldies to your heart’s content. This will keep the boys away for a while.

Remember: Dying is a last resort!

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